The perfect post for Easter....
and renewal of FAITH!
I want to first say that I was a fairly religious person
prior to some unfortunate events in my life.
I still have very strong faith,
I just don't verbalize it to everyone
ALL the time anymore.
Those of you who have been with me since
the very beginning of this page
know that I started small and expected smaller!
Pictured above (Kendra and Mick)
is one reason my faith in "doing good"
has been restored.
I haven't talked much about my personal life.
I posted about a divorce months ago,
and have tried with all my might to keep
this page and my personal life separated.
(Partly because my ex stalks the page.)
I do not want my fans to know me as
"that Army wife"!
After all, I tried as hard as humanly possible,
prayed more than ever in my life,
and still.... my marriage ended.
Involved in our marriage, and my life,
were five furbabies!
Yes, that is a lot... but they were "adopted",
with expectations to return to a "soldier",
or his family, one day soon.
During the divorce, not to mention the marriage,
my ex did some pretty unthinkable things.
Once he could no longer physically control me,
he resorted to mental torture.
This is where the furbabies come in.
I opted to leave, for fear of my well-being,
without my pets.
NOT AN EASY DECISION
and it took me weeks (literally) to decide!
My dogs had been with me since before
my son's deployment in 2007.
They weathered breast cancer and
cervical cancer with me.
Kendra being ever present on my stomach
before and after my surgery to have my
cervix and uterus removed due to the cancer.
NEVER did those amazing furbabies let me down.
They stuck with me and proved their faithfulness.
In turn, no matter the circumstances,
I promised I would always be there for them.
So, making the decision to get out while I could,
without my furbabies,
was one of the most difficult decisions I've ever made.
I prayed, I begged God to "help me, just this once"
and I was certain He wasn't listening.
After all, I had prayed for my marriage to work,
for the counseling to allow my husband to see I was there
for the good and bad times, for the marriage to make it
through the toughest of tough times and
for my husband to get better and just love me.
None of that happened, no matter how hard I prayed.
When I realized the marriage was over
and tried to move on with my life,
I found myself riddled with guilt because
it just seemed impossible to find a place with the girls.
I didn't have much money and knew I would get
NO HELP from the ex-husband.
The marriage became unbearable,
and realizing I had to go into hiding for my own good was,
undoubtedly, foremost on my mind.
I have an amazing friend who has taken me in,
life isn't easy, but I am VERY fortunate and
I realize each day just how blessed I am.
That said, my furbabies were left in his care.
I received an email... I was distraught.
He claimed to have left the girls at a shelter
and euthanization was pending.
I cried, I yelled out at God, I was ANGRY!
How could this be happening?
I just wanted to protect myself and now,
my faithful (always present to make me smile)
furbabies were going to be "put down"!
I had failed them;
and at the same time I had a flash of relief.
Which only caused me to ponder
what kind of a person I am.
After all, they were no longer in his care.
He could not harm them to "get even" with me.
I was overcome by relief and
an overwhelming feeling of GUILT!
Out of my anger arose a post on my personal FB page.
Nothing fancy, just this:
"I got an email; apparently he took all the animals to the shelter
and asked to have them euthanized.
Not sure how true it is,
didn't let it flush me from my safe spot;
but now I can't stop crying.
I really can't believe I ever loved him.
I'm so angry and at the same time so horribly hurt.
You're not human if you can tell a furbaby you love them
and then euthanize them (for no reason) the next day."
There were a flurry of responses,
one suggesting I check out the website for the shelter
he claimed to bring them to really got me thinking.
So, I checked them out and sure enough,
there were pics of my furbabies.
It was clear to me they were scared and
my poor Mia (black lab) even looked like she was in pain.
I expected NOTHING to come of my post;
just blowing off steam and "putting it out there"!
Then, the unthinkable and unbelievable happened,
an amazing friend I had met while helping the Patton Family
(the house fire victims I helped just after starting this page)
totally stepped up and did what I never expected!
Although we weren't close,
we had stayed in touch
after the Patton Family was helped.
Katlyn S, and her family, asked to adopt the girls
and keep them safe and LOVED
until I can get back on my feet and take them back!
I was shocked when it happened,
and still I have to pinch myself to realize
it is real and my girls are safe and sound,
with a family that will love them
until they can come home!
God has answered those prayers,
cried out on those lonely dark nights.
I am safe, my girls are safe, and
we are all loved.
I've experienced it before,
and now comes the refresher course;
God is listening.
Sometimes your prayers seem to go unanswered;
but He is there.... listening.
And making sure that the lessons you need
are the lessons he teaches you.
I may not have a lot in life,
but I am certain that the love of my friends,
and their willingness to help me out,
is more than enough.
I hope everyone has a blessed Easter.
Be sure to hug your loved ones and remember:
"You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God,
you will receive what he has promised."
Hebrews 10:36 (NIV)
