We have all heard about how deployments can cause divorce. How the stress of going through it all can cause people to break up. But do you think that deployments can also make some marriages stronger? I think in our case they have. We have been through three of them. Each one has been hard it its own way. They were something in our past (and likely future) that we had to get through.
Communication has never been good while he has been deployed. Some of that is because of the logistics of where he was and all of that. The other part of it is something we as a couple struggle with. It makes life really frustrating when I can’t talk to my husband for days and days. I usually was fine going 4-5 days but then I would start to get really frustrated and annoyed by it. I just wouldn’t feel like myself. It was like hearing his voice or even receiving a letter from him rebooted me. I was able to continue on along that deployment road a little bit longer after I heard from him.
I think whenever a couple has to go through a challenging time, they either grow stronger or apart. Every time he has been gone, through all of the difficulties of the separation, we have grown stronger. We know that these deployments will make us stronger people. That is the way we have to look at it. If he is going to be in the Army, he is going to be deployed. There is nothing I can do to change that. I don’t have control over that part. I do have control over my actions and how I respond to him when he is gone. I have to remind myself that he loves me very much, loves our boys very much but that he is also in a very stressful situation. When I remind myself of this, the deployment becomes a tiny bit easier.
We will be celebrating 10 years of marriage in August. I have been thinking a lot about our life and what we have done the last 10 years. I have been thinking about what has made us a stronger couple. And the number one thing that comes to mind is the deployments we have been through.
I am not looking forward to the next deployment. But when it happens I want to make sure that we see it is as another chance for us to grow as a couple.
What have your experiences been? Have you been able to grow stronger through deployments and separations?